do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize