Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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