16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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