I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize