The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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