Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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