Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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