I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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