wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize