Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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