I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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