he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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