It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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