You really coming over, don't trick.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im just a social blackout drinker.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize