I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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