So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize