STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize