Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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