Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well I just put wine in my tea
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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