FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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