we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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