his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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