I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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