Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize