Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
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You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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