She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What a dumb baby whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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