Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize