I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize