I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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