C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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