OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize