i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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