My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You dont lie about slip and slides
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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