kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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