i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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