so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
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Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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