Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
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even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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