I'm gonna have a badass scar
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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