woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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