so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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