the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
handjob tips. give me some.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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