They should really pass out barf bags in church
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The best revenge is premature balding
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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