I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize