Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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