i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize