I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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