No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize