butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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