So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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