i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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